“It healed a few pieces of my heart”

By Maureen Gilmer, Riley Children’s Health senior writer, mgilmer1@iuhealth.org

Noah Meth’s little face was everywhere in the CVICU family lounge – on stickers, on posterboard, on little gift boxes.

The darling boy with the big eyes and sweet smile is frozen in time. On Thursday, his mom, dad, big brother and grandparents came to Riley Hospital for Children to celebrate Noah’s first birthday in the place he knew best.

Noah died at Riley in July while waiting for a heart transplant. He had spent all but two days of his short life in the hospital after being born with hypoplastic left heart syndrome, a serious congenital heart defect where the left side of the heart is underdeveloped. It is sometimes referred to as “half a heart.”

But Noah really had the biggest heart, say his parents, Ryan Meth and Haley Engwer of Evansville. He was beloved on the CVICU at Riley, nurses doting on him day and night.

Many of those nurses, as well as physicians, chaplains, clerical staff and EVS team members, joined the family Thursday for pizza and cupcakes as they remembered Noah, sharing stories, tears and laughs.

“He was the sweetest boy,” one said, as another added, “We were his girlfriends.”

“I was his senior most girlfriend,” joked nurse practitioner Angela Finley.

“Even if we weren’t taking care of him, we always stopped in the hallway to wave,” said nurse Hannah Nicoson.

It’s bittersweet for Engwer and her husband to sing “Happy Birthday” to their beloved son, but Noah’s big brother, Levi, 3, kept the mood light, announcing “Who wants some cupcakes?”

“I feel like Noah would love this,” his mom said. “He loved crowded rooms, especially if he was in the center.”

To know Noah was to love him, she told the assembled group as she fought to contain her emotions. “Thank you, guys, for not only caring for his heart and his body but also his soul and helping me form him into the spunky boy we all knew.”

Chaplain Hannah Ervin, who got to know Noah and his family during his time at Riley, said celebrating his birthday with the people who knew him best is therapeutic not just for the family but the Riley team as well.

Noah united the CVICU team, she said, so his loss was profound on many levels. Grieving and remembering together is part of healing.

“While he is physically not present, I think it is important to celebrate his first birthday and recognize what could have been and what isn’t, while also celebrating his life and the impact he had,” Ervin said.

Reflecting on the party later, Engwer said seeing so many people gather to remember her son meant the world.

“It healed a few pieces of my heart. It helps to know that he’s remembered. Riley was his home,” she said.

“He would have loved all of his favorite people in one room, singing to him. Noah showed us how he wanted to live – full of joy, love and laughter, no matter how hard the days were. It’s up to us to continue his journey.”

Photos submitted and by Mike Dickbernd, IU Health visual journalist, mdickbernd@iuhealth.org