On Bereaved Mother's Day and every day, Riley Children's Health stands alongside mothers who have lost a child. Our partners at The Milk Bank deeply care about this community that no woman or family chooses but is the reality for far too many.
"The loss is really unimaginable," Freedom Kolb, CEO of The Milk Bank, said. "The Milk Bank exists to save infant lives. We're trying to reduce infant mortality."
The Milk Bank often connects with women after their losses and the nonprofit's team has learned that one part of the trauma for mothers is the unexpected onset of lactation.
"A lot of the families weren't aware that [a mother's] milk might come in," Kolb explained. "So, the program has really evolved beyond a milk donation program to provide that anticipatory guidance, the support right when it's needed, and all sorts of wraparound services. We provide free bereavement kits to all of our partners, including Riley. It's a message from another bereaved mom. It really is letting them know that they don't have to stand alone."
Kolb said The Milk Bank shares information about the options a mother has which includes the choice to express, suppress or donate.
"All of those are really valuable options," Kolb said.
Kolb compassionately shared how, for some women, choosing to pump after a loss can offer a small sense of comfort during an unimaginable journey.
"The research says, for those that choose with informed consent, pumping milk and donating milk can facilitate a grief journey; it can provide some mental health relief and creating that legacy for their infant giving purpose to the loss," Kolb said. "Some mothers find it a connection point to the infant; they know that they would have been able to nourish their baby, and lots of other strong mental health supports."
Riley Children's Health has its own milk depot where mothers can donate breast milk, which is then taken to The Milk Bank to ultimately nourish babies at Riley and beyond.
"Riley is really one of our flagship partners," Kolb said. "We've been in partnership with them for more than 20 years. The wonderful thing about Riley is, as a level 4 NICU, the NICU serves as almost a magnet for the sickest babies. They're going to pull in infants from all around the state who need the most acute, critical levels of care. So, they're actually going to consume a much higher percentage of milk than maybe a smaller, more rural hospital."
Kolb referred to breast milk as "a lifesaving intervention."
"Especially for the 1 in 10 infants who are premature, and particularly at an increased risk for necrotizing enterocolitis," Kolb said. "That's where you see donor milk used the most on a NICU setting. That can really increase survival rates between 50 and 70%, the research says."
Lactation is often an overlooked element of losing an infant. To bereaved mothers, compassionate support is available to you.
"We are really here to celebrate the legacy of your infant and the life that they had, no matter how short, no matter if you got to hold them in your arms or in your heart, they mean a lot to us," Kolb said.
For any mothers or families in need of bereavement support, below are some helpful resources:
Riley Grief Services
The Milk Bank Bereavement Services
The Milk Bank Wellness for Bereaved Parents skills group
The Compassionate Friends
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