Moms and teens say: Not today, cancer

By Maureen Gilmer, Riley Children’s Health senior writer, mgilmer1@iuhealth.org

Mother’s Day looks different this year for three Central Indiana moms and their teenage daughters.

All will be away from home Sunday as the girls complete treatment for leukemia while the moms lean on each other to make it through each day.

Hallie Crane, 18, Lauren Klusmeier, 19, and Ashlynn Corn, 16, were diagnosed toward the end of last year – Hallie on Nov. 1 (acute lymphoblastic leukemia and acute myeloid leukemia), Lauren on Dec. 2 (AML) and Ashlynn on Dec. 24 (AML).

They have spent more time at Riley Hospital for Children than in their own homes over the past six months, enduring rigorous chemotherapy and, in Hallie’s case, a stem cell transplant.

By their sides through it all have been their moms, each trying to hold it together for their daughters while juggling families at home and acknowledging that their lives have been forever changed.

For all the laughter and joy that enveloped a Riley family lounge last week as these six got together for an interview, you wouldn’t know these moms and teens have been on a roller coaster that has shaken them to their core.

“I think going through something like this changes who you are,” said Tabatha Corn, Ashlynn’s mom. “It makes you more compassionate toward others, at least for me, and you learn things. You learn what to say, what not to say. You learn what to be thankful for and the gratitude you have for life, for sparing your child’s life, for the medical professionals who care for your child.”

And they’ve learned to give and accept grace – among one another and within their community, whether that be at Riley or home.

Tara Crane, Hallie’s mom, recalls meeting Corn on the cancer unit at Riley just before Christmas.

“I saw Tabatha crying in the hallway, so I said something to her just because I understood how she felt,” Crane said. “It’s overwhelming, and you don’t want your kid to see you bawling your eyes out. We needed each other’s support.”

That was the beginning of their friendship. Their daughters’ rooms were two doors down from each other. Nearby was Lauren, along with her mom, Jami Copenhaver. The two met Hallie when she wrote Lauren a short letter introducing herself. Hallie was in isolation, so she couldn’t leave her room, but Lauren began visiting Hallie, standing outside her door just to talk.

It helped, Hallie said, “just being able to relate.”

“It’s hard even for your siblings to understand what you’re going through,” Lauren said, “and there are some things we just don’t want to hear, like when people say, keep fighting. When was I not going to fight?”

Eventually, they met Ashlynn, and the three teens have bonded over their shared misery – the nausea, the hair loss, the blood and platelet transfusions, the fear, and the realization that the lives of their friends and siblings have gone on uninterrupted while this trio has been frozen in time.

“Everything continues to go on outside of here,” Corn said. “Like prom last weekend,” Crane said. “Or softball or college. It’s hard to watch everybody else’s world keep going.”

But of course it does, and they understand. Still, it’s hard.

“Lauren said to me one day that it feels like she is mourning her old life,” said Copenhaver about her daughter, who was enrolled at Indiana University Bloomington when her cancer was diagnosed.

Her new life will mean transferring to IU Indianapolis so she can be close to Riley for follow-up appointments. Her goal is to become a child life specialist at Riley. The family lives in Greenwood.

One of the bright spots in her days at Riley was a private visit by her favorite singer, Megan Moroney, last month, when Moroney was in town for a concert. Copenhaver reached out to the singer’s team on social media, and they were quick to respond and plan the visit to the Child Life Zone, where all three girls got to meet her.

“It was even better than I expected,” Copenhaver said. “I think God put that on her heart. It was very special; she even made a TikTok with Lauren.”

Hallie, diagnosed in November, missed most of her senior year in high school and all the milestones that come with that. She will graduate next month, but she won’t be able to attend the ceremony.

The North Vernon teen, who hopes to become a teacher like her mother, was discharged from Riley last week, but she and her mom will be staying in Indianapolis until July, giving time for her donated stem cells to continue doing the work of healing her. (Hallie received cells from an unrelated donor through the donor registry at a 100% match.)

“I’m not going home yet, but at least it will be a different view and some fresh air,” she said.

At 16, Ashlynn is the youngest of the trio. The high school sophomore from Leesburg is missing softball season with her travel and school teams but hopes to return in the fall or next year.

“She’s gonna be rocking it on the softball diamond,” Lauren said about Ashlynn, who did accomplish a big thing the last time she was home – getting her driver’s license.

Both Ashlynn and Lauren expect to be discharged in the next two weeks, their final chemo treatments finished.

Slipping back into “normal” life might be difficult at first, but the girls and their moms are ready for that next step.

“When all this is over, we need to have a girls’ trip,” Crane said.

For now, they are following doctors’ orders and say they are exactly where they need to be, as they give a shout out to their nurses for being “sunshine in the storm.” Oncologists for the three are Dr. Anthony Ross (Hallie), Dr. Allison Yancey (Lauren), and Dr. Emily Mueller (Ashlynn).

“Even though we’re ready to go home, we know how quickly things can change,” Corn said. “We’re here for a reason; they know what they’re doing here with our girls.”

Copenhaver, whose birthday falls on Mother’s Day this year, would like nothing more than to be home with Lauren and the rest of her family on Sunday, but she accepts that it’s not likely to happen.

“We’ll figure it out,” she said, adding that being a mom is “the biggest blessing God could ever give me. It’s the best job in the whole world.”

Her daughter says her mom was made for the job.

“She was born to be a mom. She is my best friend.”

Corn agrees that being a mom is one of the most rewarding experiences in life.

“God gives us these little people that we don’t know what to do with, but … just watching them grow and thrive and become good human beings is so rewarding,” she said.

It’s all about unconditional love and pride, Crane said.

“I could not be more proud of how Hallie has handled this, of how all my kids have handled this because this has been hard on all of them.”

All three moms are counting their blessings as they watch their daughters beat back cancer. One of those blessings is the unbreakable bond they have formed amid this health crisis.

“Having them has helped tremendously because they get it,” Crane said of her new friends. “They understand the pull between here and your family at home and the hardships and what these babies are being put through. We can relate on a different level.”

“This is a journey where you feel alone even though you’re getting so much attention, so this makes it feel less alone having other moms who understand and are feeling the same emotions you’re feeling,” Copenhaver said.

“It’s been amazing having them, and it’s been amazing for our girls to have each other,” Corn agreed. “As hard as this has been, this is one of the blessings that’s come out of it. I think it was fully orchestrated by God to have us all here at the same time and be able to meet and mesh as well as we do.”

Photos by Mike Dickbernd, IU Health visual journalist, mdickbernd@iuhealth.org, and Courtney Taylor