Bereaved moms lend each other support during the annual Riley Grief Services brunch the first Sunday in May.
By Maureen Gilmer, Riley Children’s Health senior writer, mgilmer1@iuhealth.org
Mother’s Day is an overwhelming, challenging time of year for bereaved mothers.
That’s why Riley Grief Services hosts a brunch for these moms on Bereaved Mother’s Day (the first Sunday in May) each year to honor them and their children.
Katie Kavanaugh and her wife, Rosa Pasillas Labak, attended Sunday’s brunch at Eagle Creek Park last weekend, just as they have every year since their infant daughter, Niko, passed away at birth at Riley due to prematurity.
That was in 2022, and Kavanaugh and her family (which also includes their 5-year-old) have found a great deal of support through Riley Grief Services in the past three years.
The brunch holds a special place in their heart because it was one of the first activities they participated in as a family to process their grief.
“It is a safe place to explore your grief and figure out how you need to grieve,” Kavanaugh said. “In life, we don’t get lessons on grieving, but it’s one of the most human experiences. And when you lose a child, you’re forced into that grief space.”
Kavanaugh has also taken advantage of free counseling sessions through the program, as well as a family grief retreat and family art therapy.
Amber Nelson’s son Chandler died of cancer in 2022 after a year of treatment at Riley Hospital and before that, IU Health University Hospital. She attends the brunch every year, bringing her best friend with her.
This year’s event was perfect, “even with the rain,” she said. “It is beautiful every year. We bring a picture of our child to display and light a candle to put with it. We make jewelry, eat delicious food, listen to a beautiful poem, and we get to say our child’s name as we receive a carnation.”
The event is also a chance to be present physically and emotionally for other grieving moms, she added.
“We are extremely blessed to have a program like Riley Grief Services and the amazing staff that walk alongside us during these horrible times,” Nelson said. “They are the most welcoming, caring and loving individuals. They always remember and say your child’s name.”
Kavanaugh agrees: “I think Riley’s grief department has been instrumental in helping me figure out what my grief is and how I need to manage it.”
She and her wife are expecting another child this year.
Other events planned this year by Riley Grief Services include Family Day on June 1 at an Indianapolis Indians game; the Riley Grief Retreat Oct. 3-5 at Camp Pyoca in Brownstown, Indiana; and the Riley Candle-Lighting Service on Dec. 14 at Jameson Camp in Indianapolis.